Ever Wondered What No One Tells You About Succeeding at Work?
There are unwritten rules at every workplace. Here are some of the ways to uncover them.
What Are the “Unwritten Rules”?
They’re the things no one tells you—but everyone expects you to know.
- Invisible forces that shape workplace culture
- Secret codes that influence success
- Your boss’s silent preferences
- Stuff you think you should know… but no one says out loud
These rules aren’t in the employer guidebook—but they impact promotions, relationships, and how you’re seen.
Examples of Unwritten Rules in Action:
- Staying late to appear hardworking
- Dress expectations vary by department
- “Code-switching” to fit in or sound more ‘professional’
- Building informal relationships over lunch or coffee
- Owning your own growth without being told
“I realized people expected me to ‘just know’ when to speak in meetings… but no one told me.”
How to Discover the Rules
The clues are all around you—if you know where to look
Ask yourself:
- Who usually leads meetings?
- What’s the unspoken dress code?
- When do people arrive—and leave?
- Who gets recognized or promoted, and why?
- Is networking just as important as productivity
Observing is learning—then ask questions or seek advice when unsure.
Learn the Game, Then Decide How to Play It
Should you follow every rule? Not necessarily. But know what you’re navigating.
Here’s a process to help you decide:
- Consider the history: Where might this norm have come from?
- What are your options for engaging with it—or not?
- Weigh the pros and cons.
- Are you advocating for yourself in the process?
You don’t have to lose yourself to succeed—but understanding the landscape gives you more choices.
What You Can Do
- Pay Attention to the interactions around you
- Ask for help: find a buddy, mentor, or ask questions
- Reflect on your values and decide what feels authentic
- Talk to someone who’s worked there for awhile to gain insight
Advocating for Yourself in the Workplace
What is self-advocacy?
- Communicating your needs and wants to support well-being
- Sticking up for yourself and recognizing your worth
- Mindfully participating in shaping your own future
Important Reminder:
Harassment, bullying, and retaliation are not personal challenges — they are abusive and sometimes illegal.
Document these incidents and seek help.
Organizations to Connect with:
Your Workplace Needs
How to know what you want to advocate for?
Imagine your dream work environment. What are some of its characteristics?
- Values Match
- Supportive Environment
- Supervisor Invested in Your Development
- Belonging
- Shared Goals
- Psychological Safety
Barriers to Self-Advocacy
- Power Dynamics
- Confidence vs. Arrogance
- Systemic -isms
- Conflict Avoidance
Tools for Self-Advocacy
- Hype Journal
- Coalitions and Allies
- Unions
- Goal Setting
- Clear Expectations
- Documentation
- Mentorship
- Therapy/Mental Health Resources